What to expect when you're not expecting, but everyone else is...
Okay, so I know this is definitely different than what I normally post, but I have had so much on my mind recently, and I have a few thoughts that I wanted to share with everyone. Maybe, advice if you want to call it that. So I have a TON of friends that are pregnant, have kids, or plan to have kids. On my social media feed, all I see is engagements, weddings, & babies. Granted, this is wonderful & amazing news, & I am happy for everyone, but I can't but help to sit here & wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life....
I'm 24 years old, with a bachelors degree. I'm in a semi-new relationship with an amazing guy, but I still sit here like what in the actual fuck am I doing with my life. I am at what I would like to call my quarter life crisis, where I am graduated from college, back home with my mother (thanks to my douchelord ex boyfriend), and working a part time job. In the past year, my 2 of my best friends got married, another two friends also got married, one my best friends is having a baby (like she's in labor right now YAY), and another one of my friends told me she's pregnant as well. I don't know if I'm somewhat in denial because I was in a four year relationship where I was cheated on and now he has a baby & is getting married next month or if I'm truly just at that stage of my life where I'm worried I'm getting too old to live out having kids and having a wedding of my own. With my 25th birthday approaching quickly, I'm still wanting more in my life. I really wanna go back to school and get Masters degree. Everyone for the past year says "you really need to go back to school; don't wait too long". First off, it's my life & I will do things on my time, secondly, I wasn't ready. After my grandfather passing away and practically being financially cut off, I had to learn how to do it my way and on my own. I needed to grow up and know what it was like to stand on my own two feet and figure everything out. I've known a lot of privileged people, and sometimes I don't think they understand what it's like to have to kill yourself just to get a tiny bit of what you want even when it is a necessity such as school.
I am no way asking anyone to feel bad for me. I know where I am at in my life, but I think it took me taking the time to know myself as a person, and what I truly want in life & also who I want in my life. I have grown so much in the past year into the woman that I want to share with a family of my own eventually, and I'm happy that I waited to expand my family. I am NOT saying anyone who has kids young or gets married young is dumb. They were just lucky enough to find what they wanted so soon in life. Every child is blessing. My mother had me when she was only twenty one years old, & I think I turned out pretty good even thought she was considered somewhat of a young mother & raised me on her own.
In the end, I have finally realized, I have actually accomplished a decent amount of things in my life so far. I need to realize that I am still young & I have SO much to look forward to. I can do things on my own time & if I don't get married or have kids til I'm 30 then that was what was meant to be. Also, I get to be the bad ass cool aunt to all of my friends kids. :)
I know this isn't make up related what so ever, but I felt that if I'm going through this, then other people must be going through it as well. I know it seems like everyone is getting married and having kids, but there's also other people going out & getting wasted every night... & I'm not. So in a sense, I have done some growing up, but come to think about it, do we ever really stop growing up & learning new things? I hope this has helped your mid twenties angst in some way, if not, I hope you enjoyed hearing my crazy, anxiety ridden thoughts. Have a good night you guys! AND just breathe, it really isn't so bad after all.
xoxo
Katie
I'm 24 years old, with a bachelors degree. I'm in a semi-new relationship with an amazing guy, but I still sit here like what in the actual fuck am I doing with my life. I am at what I would like to call my quarter life crisis, where I am graduated from college, back home with my mother (thanks to my douchelord ex boyfriend), and working a part time job. In the past year, my 2 of my best friends got married, another two friends also got married, one my best friends is having a baby (like she's in labor right now YAY), and another one of my friends told me she's pregnant as well. I don't know if I'm somewhat in denial because I was in a four year relationship where I was cheated on and now he has a baby & is getting married next month or if I'm truly just at that stage of my life where I'm worried I'm getting too old to live out having kids and having a wedding of my own. With my 25th birthday approaching quickly, I'm still wanting more in my life. I really wanna go back to school and get Masters degree. Everyone for the past year says "you really need to go back to school; don't wait too long". First off, it's my life & I will do things on my time, secondly, I wasn't ready. After my grandfather passing away and practically being financially cut off, I had to learn how to do it my way and on my own. I needed to grow up and know what it was like to stand on my own two feet and figure everything out. I've known a lot of privileged people, and sometimes I don't think they understand what it's like to have to kill yourself just to get a tiny bit of what you want even when it is a necessity such as school.
I am no way asking anyone to feel bad for me. I know where I am at in my life, but I think it took me taking the time to know myself as a person, and what I truly want in life & also who I want in my life. I have grown so much in the past year into the woman that I want to share with a family of my own eventually, and I'm happy that I waited to expand my family. I am NOT saying anyone who has kids young or gets married young is dumb. They were just lucky enough to find what they wanted so soon in life. Every child is blessing. My mother had me when she was only twenty one years old, & I think I turned out pretty good even thought she was considered somewhat of a young mother & raised me on her own.
In the end, I have finally realized, I have actually accomplished a decent amount of things in my life so far. I need to realize that I am still young & I have SO much to look forward to. I can do things on my own time & if I don't get married or have kids til I'm 30 then that was what was meant to be. Also, I get to be the bad ass cool aunt to all of my friends kids. :)
I know this isn't make up related what so ever, but I felt that if I'm going through this, then other people must be going through it as well. I know it seems like everyone is getting married and having kids, but there's also other people going out & getting wasted every night... & I'm not. So in a sense, I have done some growing up, but come to think about it, do we ever really stop growing up & learning new things? I hope this has helped your mid twenties angst in some way, if not, I hope you enjoyed hearing my crazy, anxiety ridden thoughts. Have a good night you guys! AND just breathe, it really isn't so bad after all.
xoxo
Katie
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